you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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