bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
