The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
