Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
