I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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