i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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