So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
