i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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