i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
