When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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