do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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