we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do vagina's smell?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
