Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize