I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
