We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
