i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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