so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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