there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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