Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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