doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
