that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
