I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have feelings that need drinking.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
