I hate your face
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just google imaged poop.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
