I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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