so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
