I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
