So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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