I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
