no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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