im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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