well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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