Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
