an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
