No stitches, just platelets and will power
honey bunches of taint.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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