sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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