The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
