Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
