Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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