I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
