He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
