Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
