no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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