You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
