drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
