New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
