Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
