Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
