Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize