The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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