her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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