I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
