I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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