Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
