it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
