part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
