What did we do last night that was yellow?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize