I hate all girls vehemently.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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