i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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