Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
